she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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