Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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