the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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