I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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