just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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