My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
whose ass print is on the piano?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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