Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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