I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize