Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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