Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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