I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize