my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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