yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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