I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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