Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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