Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize