she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The ass gains better be worth it
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