4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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