i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You are a genius and a whore.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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