I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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