My room smells like vodka and shame
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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