She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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