Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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