Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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