Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize