took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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