I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize