In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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