i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The air taste purple.
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