Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize