Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
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Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize