just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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