I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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