Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize