my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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