once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
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Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
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I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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