Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Semen is not good for contacts.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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