Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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