Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
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I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
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Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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