the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize