i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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