Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson. http://tfl.nu/nef3
  Replies (2) Good night (1309) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Can you return condoms to CVS?

  (516): View more from New York

  Only if you return your pride as well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Can you return condoms to CVS? (516): Only if you return your pride as well. http://tfl.nu/vx1b
  Replies (32) Good night (584) Bad night (3538)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass. http://tfl.nu/pyjz
  Replies (15) Good night (487) Bad night (4988) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke. http://tfl.nu/86z1
  Replies (17) Good night (795) Bad night (4322) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college http://tfl.nu/imp1
  Replies (22) Good night (1333) Bad night (5803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer. http://tfl.nu/l87h
  Replies (10) Good night (8131) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit. http://tfl.nu/1d92
  Replies (13) Good night (2654) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood. http://tfl.nu/z2ka
  Replies (13) Good night (3347) Bad night (1109) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year. http://tfl.nu/71up
  Replies (17) Good night (4379) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse. http://tfl.nu/1ru8
  Replies (6) Good night (1294) Bad night (2078) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single http://tfl.nu/1weq
  Replies (12) Good night (2429) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him http://tfl.nu/8eei
  Replies (7) Good night (2203) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here http://tfl.nu/v34u
  Replies (2) Good night (1618) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10% (405): And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar. http://tfl.nu/4y72
  Replies (10) Good night (2180) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins http://tfl.nu/if6l
  Replies (5) Good night (1215) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt

Randomize