I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize