it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize