me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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