Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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