Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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