i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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