It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize