that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My life is pants optional.
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